Smartful Coaching

Adversity Flip™

Turn Adversity Over to Find Something Good

15 April

Ever Felt Betrayed?

Have you ever felt betrayed?

Most of us have.

It’s not a good feeling.

But consider what Barbara DeAngelis says in her book, Real Moments:

“No one betrays us as much in our lives as we betray ourselves.”

I think she is spot on.

Think about the times you’ve promised yourself any number of things & not followed through. It could be giving up a bad habit, losing weight, stop procrastinating, treating others better, or any number of other things.

What’s the lesson, here?

When someone betrays you, be more understanding & forgiving.

Barbara says it well:

“Love and kindness are never wasted.  They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.”

No matter how “put together” anyone appears, everyone you meet is carrying some sort of emotional burden.  Everyone has lost a loved one & watched a dream go up in smoke.  They may have had to deal with some sort of abuse or neglect as well.

Choose kindness.  Choose it as often as you can.







13 March

Tragedy, Irony, Learning

Lying in the park on a beautiful day
Sunshine in the grass, and the children play
Siren’s passing, fire engine red
Someone’s house is burning down on a day like this

~  from the song Funny The Way It Is by Dave Matthews Band

The recent tragedy in Japan…it’s easy to know how I feel about it, but difficult to know what to say.  So, forgive me if this post is a bit scattered.

The earthquake, tsunami, and so much suffering.  Just thinking about it makes makes it hard for me to breathe, resulting in a big sigh.  I can hardly comprehend it and am at a loss how the people of Japan are even able to cope with it in any fashion.

Yesterday as I was doing household chores, the people of Japan and their suffering was on my mind.  I started thinking about the song above and the irony it conveys.   My iPod was set on shuffle…and surprisingly this song came on just a few minutes after I was thinking about it…

When the Japan earthquake/tsunami struck odds are there were many people elsewhere in the world experiencing something very positive and uplifting.   Those experiencing the devastation in Japan I can only imagine are doing all they can to cope…and struggling mightily with that.   Generally speaking, anyone going through a tragedy regardless of how widespread it is, has more than enough to do just trying to cope.

Since the people in the tragedy are busy just trying to cope, that leaves it up to the rest of us to act and to learn.  I admire those who have chosen to be there physically and give of their time and energy to help.  Those of us who aren’t in a position to do that, I’m sure are giving financially whatever they are able to in order to help.  Even a small amount makes a difference.

The lesson for the rest of us, I believe, is to be: helpful, giving, compassionate, loving, understanding, and full of gratitude for what we do have.   And, to be this way every single day.  Because every single day someone is experiencing loss of some kind.  These tragedies are horrible events – let’s all do our part to help:  emotionally, spiritually, and financially – in whatever way we can.  Let’s use these types of events to help bring people closer together.