Smartful Coaching

Adversity Flip™

Turn Adversity Over to Find Something Good

12 December

Did Everything Right and Adversity Still Shows Up

Have you ever felt like this? I handled everything very well, but still came up on the short end of the stick?

Maybe it was a difficult conversation. You spent the time needed to prepare, found the right environment and the right way to say what you wanted to say, but the other person took it poorly.

It would be great if the amount of effort and our intentions were always major factors in creating a successful outcome. Often they only play a minor role.

Sometimes adversity just happens. When it does, you have to deal with it as best as you can.

A big part of dealing with it the best you can is looking for the lesson. I truly believe you can find something meaningful and helpful in nearly every situation,  if you look. However, there will be that rare instance when it was strictly just adversity and there was little, if anything to learn.

When that happens, maybe the best lesson is to just let it go and move on.

What do you think? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

22 April

How Did It Get This Bad?

My life was falling apart. I couldn’t believe how bad it was & how quickly it seemed to happen.

I searched to find the “one bad choice” that landed me on the dark path I was on.

There wasn’t any one thing.

Simply a series of small changes that individually looked minor & harmless.

But when combined, radically altered where my life was headed.

My job, my finances, my health, my spirit & my attitude – were all a mess.

I didn’t feel like “me” any more.

I was super-stressed, eating poorly, lacking exercise, feeling isolated & sleeping very little. I’d put myself on the path to an early grave. I was beyond anxious to find a new path.

Then I discovered a big part of the problem. I was trying to control everything. In particular, related to making a career change.

“I once had a grip on everything.  It feels better to let go.

~ from the song: I’m Not Over by Carolina Liar

Change careers – I was so ready. But instead of letting it develop naturally, I set it in my mind that I must have a masters degree. Instead making the end goal (career change) the most important thing, I was totally focused on a rigid set of steps that I decided must happen first.

And I’d become so determined & focused on getting that degree that I blinded myself to all the warning signs around me.  Then one day I “woke up” & saw how bad my life had become.

A difficult decision, but I chose to leave school. Immediately my stress was reduced, I found time for exercise & improved my finances.  In turn, my sleep improved.

In hindsight, one of the best decisions I ever made.

I can’t recall the author’s name, but I once read a book that talked about the importance of “choosing the hard no”.  My hard no was dropping school & having faith that the needed events & people would appear in my life when the time was right.

And that is just what happened.

My life fell apart in 2007/2008. In 2009, I got back on the right path. And in 2010, I attended two life-changing seminars (by Barbara Sher).  Those seminars solidified that I was making the right career change & significantly shaped the way I do business today. In 2011 I launched my business full-time.

It’s easy to seen now that I was trying to control everything out of fear. In this case, my level of adversity had to red-line before I was able to learn the lesson.

The lesson…  don’t get so locked into a way of thinking that you miss what’s going on around you.  Instead, pay attention, have faith, let go, & deal with fear in the right way.  We all arrive where we need to, but we can’t always choose the route.




18 March

Letting Go of Past Regrets

“If you’re busy regretting the past, then a new future can’t come in.” 

~ Marianne Williamson

Whether it is adversity you wish hadn’t happened or decisions you wish you had handled differently – let it go.

Regretting the past keeps you stuck.

The past is over.

It can’t be changed.

The adversity from your past only serves a useful purpose if you learn from it.

Let go and learn.